yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Randomize
