I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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