at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
