I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
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