Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
