I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
it hurts more in the daytime
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
