That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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