Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
