the new term for farting is butt boxing.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Randomize
