You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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