i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
