I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
