I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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