im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
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