He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
