I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
This is the prime rib incident all over again
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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