I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
