We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
He has the fingertips of a God
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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