im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course