I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK