So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah