Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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