I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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