We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
