i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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