guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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