Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I puked a lego.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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