you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
