I skipped work to stalk him.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
