So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
There r osticjed everywhere
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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