it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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