is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
