he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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