he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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