This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
