Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
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