Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
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