White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
