Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
How naked do you want me to be?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
