Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
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I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
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There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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