Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
