Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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