the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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