I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize