as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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