hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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