Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
