I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
How's work?
Spinning.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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