areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
you inspire me to be a worse person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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