She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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