i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
as a side note pls kill me
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
