Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
