I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize