her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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