Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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