she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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