she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
i think im in europe. pls send help
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
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