So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
