i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
