Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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