dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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