i think my tv is drunk
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
